This is a quote I am using in my Theory of Knowledge essay. The essay discusses the truth as it relates to art. When I first read the initial question, I knew it was the one for me. It gives me so much freedom. I could justify Hitler dressed as Jesus in a play if I really tried (*blank face* I wouldn't).
But thats not really what I aim to do with it. To me, the essay is more about investigating the worth of theatre to me and whether or not I should press forward with my own desires to be an actor. I've spent so much of my time, ignoring these desires, or rather ignoring the pursuit of them. I'd say its about time I actually invested time into it. Even when I'm working on my improv skills in class or at an audition, I get this sense that I'm holding back, scared.
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I have an audition on Friday @ 7.20. I just found out about it yesterday. Well.... that's not true. It was confirmed yesterday, with my name lined up next to other names. I was expecting the email, was even checking my inbox to see if it was there.
Somehow, though, when it was there in black and white, I wasn't ready. I have to perform a contemporary monologue and a song of my choice, but its not a musical. The G&S Society of Bermuda is putting on a production of the play 'Animal Farm' and apparently there's a little bit of singing in it. The G&S productions here always have singing in them. In fact, the first play they ever put on was 'History Boys' last year - I was stage manager of that. But even 'History Boys' has singing it it.
I'm not that worried about being cast. I'm pretty confident I will be. The director of 'History Boys' is returning, and I think I have an in because he knows me and my work ethic. If I do get cast, it will be my first time ever performing in a G&S production. I've auditioned for the last two years for their musicals - even getting a call back for the last one. However, it just wasn't right. Marjorie Stanton, the president of the G&S Society of Bermuda called both times to tell me that it wasn't going to work out. She even, the last time, complimented me on my efforts with 'History Boys'. She's a class act.
This time is different. I really want to do this and I know that I'm full capable. I didn't feel that the last two times. For the first audition I was totally out of place: they didn't know me and I wasn't comfortable with that. It was for 'Oliver!' and I sang 'As Long as He Needs Me'. Like I was going to be cast as Nancy! Ha! Clearly, it was the wrong song and butchered it. Ended up singing 'Happy Birthday' like all the little kids. I was 16! Embarrassing!
The second time I was a much more confident and relaxed. The show was also more appropriate for me: 'Best Little Whorehouse in Texas'. Yeeehawww! But I screwed up with my song choice there too. I sang 'Cute Boys With Short Haircuts' from 'Vanities, The Musical', which is way too much for me - can't hit all those high notes yet. And I had just started learning it too. So I got in there and messed up the words. I tried to make up for it with my acting, and I even made the director laugh. That was exciting. The first time an auditioner has ever showed any spontaneous response to what I was doing in front of them. And laughter too! Wow. It was great.
I kinda messed it up on the call-back though. Didn't leave enough of an impression. Or maybe not the right kind of one. I was funny during the dancing: pushed up my boobs during the "nothing dirty's going on line" of 'Little Bitty Pissant Country Place'. But I fell flat on the acting portion. Rushed through my lines and played the comic beats instead of just letting them happen. Comedy is not my strong suit. *pout*
This time is different. Its a play. I'm dying to be a part of a play again! Also its a contemporary play too and I haven't acted in a contemporary play yet. At least for a paying audience.
This should be fun.
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If I'm well prepared, auditions are actually fun for me. It's the stress before and after that's really annoying.
Any wannabe actors reading this ought to check out Stella Adler's book "The Art of Acting". I have it and although I haven't finished it yet, its a great read for anyone who wants to take the craft seriously.
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