Mis-truths and Half-Truths

Sometimes I get so caught up in wanting to looking perfect and good and worth-while, that I can forget that everyone else feels the same way. I mean, I understand that everyone else is insecure in some way - I can compute it. But it doesn't always translate in to true understanding, and true understanding always constitutes action. Always. If we do not act on what we think we believe then we don't really believe it.

Take my faith, for example. I've been a practicing Seventh-Day Adventist all of my life. The ideology of this religion is so ingrained in my system, that I don't even know where to begin to explain it. Bible was a core subject at my old school. Its possible that if you failed Bible, you could be held back a year. It's a system I just accepted - although quite frankly Bible was such an easy class to pass, if you failed it you probably deserved to stay back!

However, as I grow older I have found that I can just accept the things I was taught in that class at face value. I've been struggling in my faith for a long time. I refuse to give up on it, but I can't say that I am working on strengthening it.

I think it is the mistrust and the confusion that really prevents me from acting. I am scared of what I might discover. That the one thing that has been constant throughout my life is a lie. Suddenly, I can sympathize with all the people who discovered something similar for themselves after years and years of dedication. And not necessarily their faith. It could have been their marriage, their career, their sexual orientation. Anything really! Anything you held on to for so long, and then suddenly realized that it just was not true. Or that you never really believed it in the first place.